Written by:

Danny Smith

Medically Reviewed by:

Dr Sharad Haridas – MRCPsych

Last Updated:

December 2nd, 2024

Grief and Addiction

The word “grief” originates from the Old French word “grever,” meaning “to burden.” It describes an emotional response to intense loss, often following the death of a loved one. Grief can indeed feel like a heavy burden during such times. Although grieving is a natural process, and many clinicians suggest it is a healthy and appropriate reaction to a deeply distressing situation, there are instances when the weight of grief becomes overwhelming.

When this happens, it can feel like we have lost our footing, and we can struggle to navigate the swirl of thoughts and feelings that come after a loss. This can lead to a range of emotions that can feel physically painful. In these cases, we often turn to vice for solace – looking, for example, for answers at the bottom of a bottle.

Grief and addiction

Rather than curing grief, addiction can tighten the grasp it holds on us. This makes awareness of the risks of grief-induced addiction a vital form of harm management.

What is grief?

The American Psychological Association (APA) defines grief as ‘the anguish experienced after a significant loss, usually the death of a beloved person.’

Whilst we know grief to be a natural reaction, this does not mean that grieving does not pose a risk to our welfare. In fact, the APA warns that ‘intense grief can become life-threatening’ in the ways it impacts our psychological and physiological health.

Symptoms of grief

The earliest signs of grief are often emotional and behavioural. These include:

• Shock
• Tearfulness
• Separation anxiety
• Confusion
• Denial
• Feeling angry
• Not believing that the lost one is gone
• Fixating or obsessing over a loved one
• Social isolation
• Not being able to spend periods of time alone
• Disrupted sleep
• Disturbed eating patterns
• Numbness
• Neglect of responsibilities
• Neglect of personal hygiene and care

Grief can also affect our bodies. This can manifest in different ways, such as:

• Pain in the muscles
• Aching or tightness in the chest
• Digestion issues
• Comfort eating
• Losing appetite
• Immune issues
• Dry mouth
• Fatigue

Severe grief

There is no one ‘normal’ way to grieve. However, there are some signs that grief may have developed into something more severe. In these cases, people may be dealing with what is known as ‘complicated grief’ or prolonged grief disorder. Individuals experiencing this may be at increased risk of engaging in maladaptive coping behaviours.

What is addiction?

An addiction occurs when someone becomes dependent on an addictive stimulus and is unable to refrain from engagement even when it is causing them harm. There are two key types of addiction:

1. Substance use disorders
2. Behavioural addictions

The APA define a substance addiction as

‘a cluster of physiological, behavioural, and cognitive symptoms associated with the continued use of substances despite substance-related problems, distress and/or impairment.’

A behavioural addiction, on the other hand, is explained to be

‘similar to drug addiction except that […] the individual is not addicted to a substance but the behaviour or feeling brought about by the relevant action.’

There are many different types of behavioural addiction, including:

• Food addiction
• Gaming addiction
• Gambling addiction
• Internet addiction
• Porn addiction
• Shopping addiction
• Social media addiction
• Spending addiction
• Sex and love addiction

Symptoms of addiction

Addiction symptoms will vary depending on the type of addiction present. However, key warning signs include:

• Increasing amounts of time and money spent on addictive stimulus
• Inability to stop engaging with addictive stimulus
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Paranoia
• Irritability
• Anger
• General ill-health
• Headaches
• Difficulty sleeping
• Changes to eating habits
• Sickness and nausea
• Social withdrawal
• Denial or defensiveness
• Neglecting personal responsibilities

How are grief and addiction connected?

On the surface, grief and addiction share many of the same symptoms. This is perhaps due to the fact that both circumstances are linked to intense and prolonged emotional distress. But alongside this, addiction and grief have a very uneasy relationship.

Grief can lead to addiction. This can be due to a range of reasons, such as:

• Loss of control of substance use
• Using substances as a release
• Drinking or using drugs in memoriam
• Using substances to elicit periods of pleasure
• Using substances to sleep
• Using substances to escape reality

There may be circumstances where individuals living with addiction experience a loss. This can mean that grief can deepen an addiction – or even lead to a relapse – rather than necessarily being the catalyst of initial use.

The 5 stages of Grief

Grief is often thought to happen in 5 stages:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

However, it is important to remember that the grieving period doesn’t occur in a clean-cut timeline. Often, grief will ebb and flow as we move through our lives, building and retreating as we are faced with different stresses or reminders of those that we have lost.

Grief and addiction treatment

Addiction always warrants appropriate support. When hand in hand with grief, the need for treatment escalates.

Treatment for grief

You can seek support for grief in several different places. Common sources of support include:

• Loved ones
• Primary care clinician
• Support or social worker
• Therapist
• A grief charity
• Mental health specialists
• Support groups

Rehab support

If your addiction is spiralling out of control, you may benefit from establishing contact with a rehab specialist. During an initial consultation, you can discuss what elements of rehab may be most appropriate for you. This will potentially consist of a blend of:

• Detox
• Therapy
• Pharmaceutical support
• Complimentary 12 months of aftercare

Seek support

Here at Banbury Lodge, we can help you to take the steps towards an addiction-free future.  Contact us today for a free, confidential consultation with a member of our team. We are here to lend a listening, non-judgmental ear and guide you through potential options for specialist, holistic addiction and mental health support. We are available to talk to you through the bespoke rehab packages we offer to help identify the most appropriate treatment for your needs.

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