Written by:

Medically Reviewed by:

Dr Mateen Durrani – MBBS, DPM, MSc, BCPsych

Last Updated:

August 27th, 2024

Sex and love addiction

Sex and love addiction is a complex issue that can have a profound effect on your mental, emotional and even physical well-being. Despite this, it is a subject rarely discussed and often swept under the rug. Many people assume that because no substances are involved it is not a real addiction. However, sex and love addiction can be just as damaging as any other substance use disorder.

If you think that you may be addicted to sex or love, Banbury Lodge can help you to overcome your issues and find a healthy balance in your relationships.

What is sex and love addiction?

Sex and love addiction is a type of behavioural addiction. While sex and love may appear similar, these are actually two distinct disorders that manifest in different ways.

Sex addiction

Sex addiction is defined by a persistent and intense preoccupation with sexual thoughts, fantasies and behaviours. These intrusive urges often interfere with your ability to function in day-to-day life. If you are suffering from sex addiction, you will likely continue to engage in excessive sexual activities despite any negative consequences. You may also experience feelings of guilt or shame but will find it difficult to control or stop the behaviour.

Love addiction

Love addiction is characterised by the compulsive need to feel loved or be in a romantic relationship. You may demonstrate a pattern of seeking out romantic partners and the ‘high’ that comes with a new relationship. It is likely that you will feel anxious or insecure when you do not have a current love interest, and you may find it difficult to break off toxic or unhealthy relationships. Love addiction can lead to a cycle of intense emotional highs and lows, and can cause significant distress and dysfunction in your daily life.

What causes sex and love addiction?

Sex and love addiction is a multifaceted condition that can be caused by various emotional, environmental and physical factors. These factors are often intertwined, working together to cause the attachment issues associated with this condition.

Some of the causes of sex and love addiction include:

Childhood neglect or trauma: early experiences in childhood may have shaped the way you view and respond to relationships, making it difficult for you to form healthy connections and regulate your emotions.
Genetic predisposition: just like with any other addiction, it is possible that your genetics play a part in the development of sex and love addiction.
Hormonal imbalances: your hormone levels can affect your sex drive and experiencing high levels of certain hormones may exacerbate your compulsions to engage in sexual activities.
Low self-esteem and self-worth: if you hold a low opinion of yourself, it is likely that you will try to seek out relationships or sex as a form of comfort. These feelings may also cause you to stay in unhealthy relationships thinking that it is all you deserve.

If you have experienced any of the above and think that you may have an addiction to sex or love, Banbury Lodge can help you to change unhealthy thoughts and behaviour patterns and take back your life.

What are the signs of sex and love addiction?

Sex and love addiction can manifest in different ways, with the signs and symptoms varying from person to person.

Some of the most common signs of sex addiction include:

Persistent and intense preoccupation with sexual thoughts, fantasies and urges that interfere with daily life activities.
Repeatedly engaging in sexual activities in response to negative emotions such as stress, anxiety or depression.
Using sex as a way to cope with emotional pain, loneliness or feelings of low self-esteem.
Compulsive and excessive use of pornography, masturbation or other sexual behaviours.
Engaging in high-risk sexual behaviours, such as unprotected sex, anonymous sex or sex with multiple partners.
Continuing to engage in sexual behaviours despite negative consequences, such as relationship problems, legal issues or financial difficulties.
Spending a significant amount of time and money on sexual activities and neglecting other responsibilities and obligations.

Some of the most common signs of love addiction include:

A persistent and intense need to be in a romantic relationship, often at the expense of your own emotional and psychological well-being.
A pattern of seeking out partners who are emotionally unavailable, abusive or who provide a temporary “high” that quickly fades.
Difficulty in letting go of toxic or unhealthy relationships, even when they cause significant distress or harm.
Obsessive and compulsive thoughts about romantic partners, including fantasies, daydreams and frequent contact or stalking.
Rapidly moving from one relationship to another, often without taking time to reflect or heal from past relationships.
Feeling empty, anxious or depressed when not in a relationship.
Engaging in codependent behaviours, such as prioritising the needs of the partner over your own needs, or sacrificing personal values and beliefs to maintain a relationship.

Many people feel a lot of guilt and embarrassment over their sex or love addiction behaviours, but you do not need to feel ashamed in seeking treatment. Banbury Lodge provides a safe, welcoming space where you can talk openly and finally get the support you need.

Sex and love addiction 2

How is sex and love addiction treated?

Sex and love addiction can be treated using a combination of individual and group therapy, as well as other holistic treatment modalities. Banbury Lodge provides a comprehensive programme that is designed to tackle the root causes of your sex and love addiction, address any co-occurring mental health disorders and teach you how to live a more satisfying and healthy life.

Some of the therapies offered at Banbury Lodge include:

With the support of our experienced team, you can learn how to manage your sex and love addiction. Our main aim is to help you achieve peace and wellness – with dedication and hard work, you can reach your goals.

What are the benefits of sex and love addiction rehab?

Sex and love addiction is a progressive condition, which means you will likely resort to more extreme or riskier behaviours in order to feel satisfied. Sex and love addiction rehab can put a stop to this dangerous downward spiral and help you to live a more fulfilling life.

Some of the benefits of sex and love addiction rehab include:

Improved emotional and psychological well-being

Through sex and love addiction rehab you will learn healthy coping mechanisms and develop a deeper understanding of your emotions and behaviours.

Increased self-esteem

Sex and love addiction rehab can help you to develop a more positive self-image and increase your self-esteem by addressing underlying mental health issues.

Improved relationships

Through therapy and support groups, you can learn how to develop healthier and more fulfilling relationships with others, leading to greater intimacy and connection.

Improved ability to focus

Freedom from sex and love addiction will allow you to focus on other important aspects of your life, from your career to hobbies and enjoyable activities.

Decreased risk to physical health

Engaging in risky sexual behaviours or staying in abusive relationships can cause physical harm, all of which can be avoided with proper treatment.

When you choose to enter sex and love addiction rehab, you are giving yourself the opportunity to heal from the past, regain control over your behaviour and move forwards in life.

What’s next?

It is ironic that sex and love, two things that are supposed to bring people closer together, can also make you feel so alone. Sex and love addiction can feel incredibly isolating and shameful at times, but it does not have to be this way. Sex and love addiction rehab can offer a path towards healing and healthier connections. With Banbury Lodge, you can find a deeper sense of self-worth and learn to trust yourself again.

If you are ready to get help for your sex and love addiction, call our admissions team and start your recovery journey.

Frequently asked questions

Is compulsive sex disorder the same as sex addiction?

Yes, compulsive sex disorder is the same as sex addiction – these are two phrases used interchangeably to describe the same behavioural disorder. They both refer to the uncontrollable urge to engage in sexual activities.

How do I stop love addiction?

The first step in stopping a love addiction is to admit you have a problem and reach out for professional help. If you are struggling with a drug addiction or alcoholism, you are encouraged to go to rehab. Love addiction is no different – rehab can put a stop to problematic behaviour patterns and help you to discover a new way of thinking.

What percentage of the population is addicted to sex?

It is difficult to know exactly how many people are addicted to sex. Many people who suffer from these issues may not realise it is a genuine condition or may feel too ashamed to ask for help. A study in the US, however, found that 7% of women and 10% of men experienced difficulties with controlling their sexual behaviours.